Turn into fear

I don’t like spiders. That’s a solid statement of fact. I’ve learned that being the first person on a trail is not for me. One morning I was on a warm summer morning that was a bit dewey and I started running down the trail. Huge spider webs crossed the trail for at least a mile I tried with all my might to keep running and duck and dodge the webs. My skin was crawling and heart racing as snakes don’t bother me at all but spiders are my phobia. I eventually gave in and made my way back. Full confession, I waited for the mountain bikers to clear the way and headed back down the trail.

The reason I bring this up is there are times it’s best to turn into our fears and face them head on. I can’t say I’ve done that in critical situations such as quiting my job and changing careers or becoming a spider wrangler. But I have taken on sports or social situations that I’d truly prefer not to just because I wanted to face down that fear and become a stronger person mentally, emotionally and physically. I’m not sure if I’ve written about this previously but it’s pertinent to my point. I had run and I had biked so I decided to enter a duathlon that also doubled as a triathlon. I remember when I was starting my run and saw the swimmers start their swim that I would really never want to do that. Get in a lake or ocean and swim in open water. I’ve learned since to head the warning that when I mentally state that I usually do something stupid and turn into it. Well, after I got home from that race I consulted with my better half and signed up for a half Ironman. Why? Because I feared it and thus thought I should jump in the deep end. That journey was extremely rewarding as I struggled and trained hard and completed that 70.3 Ironman. I felt so much stronger after accomplishing that feet not because I was physically stronger but I had face a fear, took it on, and conquered it. I hadn’t been that person in any meaningful way up to that point and always took what I thought was the safe road. Not anymore.

That’s what I thought about as I saw the pictured spider and decided that rather than clear it away I’d take a picture of it and let it be. It will most likely be gone when I decide to jump in.